July 29

No, I’m fine, everything’s fine! — Me — with her! Oh Lord, when You made me, if You’d put that blessing aside for me, my whole life would be one neverending prayer. I — I don’t mean to be ungrateful, forgive me for these tears, forgive me for these stupid wishes! — Her…with me! If I could have taken the most amazing person in the world into my arms — A chill runs down my whole body, Will, when Albert puts his arm around her slender waist…

And, can I say this? Why not, Will? She would have been happier with me than him! Oh, he’s not the man to make all that heart’s dreams come true. A real lack of sensitivity, a lack — however you want to put it: that his heart doesn’t beat sympathetically at — oh! — at a passage in a beloved book, where my heart and Lotte’s line up EXACTLY; in a hundred other cases, when our feelings come out about how someone else was acting…mmm, Will! — But he really does love her with his whole heart, and a love like that…deserves so much!

// a fucking telemarketer interrupted me. My tears have dried. I’m over it. Goodbye, dear friend!