December 6

The way this image FOLLOWS me! Awake, asleep, it fills up my whole soul! Here, when I close my eyes, inside my brain, like a permanent afterimage — her dark eyes. HERE! I can’t describe it. I close my eyes, and they’re there; like an ocean, like a pit, they hover in front of me, inside me, flooding the nerves in my brain.

What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! WOOO! Doesn’t all that strength let him down at the EXACT moment when he needs it? And when he rides the upswing into joy or sinks into pain, doesn’t he hit a dead end at the EXACT moment, at the EXACT moment, doesn’t he get pulled back to cold consciousness at the EXACT moment when he was THIS CLOSE to losing himself in the fullness of infinity?