May 10

I’m in such a good place right now…every morning I look out the window and see how spring-y it is and it makes me so happy :) I’m alone, and I feel so grounded just being alive somewhere that finally feels right. I feel so good, Will, so caught up in just being present, that I’m not really drawing — I can’t right now, not even a little, and at the same time, I don’t think I’ve ever been more of an artist :P When the dew steams up in the valley all around me, and the sun tickles the canopy of my impenetrable dark woods, and just a few stray sunbeams filter into my shady sanctum, I snuggle down in the high grass beside the rushing stream, and gah! it’s thrilling! The forest floor is WILD with life! There’s a whole world between the grassblades — millions of tiny plants, and the craziest-looking worms and bugs, every one of them so unique and beautiful — and when I feel them all buzzing and humming around my heart, I feel this incredible presence, like I can hear God whispering in the trees, rustling the leaves with the breath of life, the endless love that keeps and sustains us in eternal joy — gahhh, Will!!! When the twilight fades to black, and the sky and the earth still glow inside me like the image of a lover — I feel this pull, and I think: AHHH! if you could re-express that, if you could breathe out onto the page this thing that so fully, so warmly lives inside you, make the page reflect your soul the way your soul reflects the Lord! — Will!!! — but it’s too much, the vision hits me like a wave and I go under.

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